LOOSE PEN DIARIES

    CAN’T BELIEVE I’M WALKING BACK TO MY CAR UNSATISFIED, UNTOUCHED, AND HORNIER THAN A DRY HUMPING PRE TEEN!!!  I THREW AWAY FIVE GRAND FUCKING WITH THIS CLUB FOR ALL OF WHAT… TWENTY MINUTES. THIS NIGGA DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE DONE CROSSED!! YEAH HE CAN SLING SOME ROCKS OR WHATEVER HE WAS SLANGING BUT HE COULDN’T THROW SOME DICK MY WAY!! MY RIDE HOME WAS LIKE WALKING THE LONG GREEN MILE. I COULD BARELY CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING! I’M NOT SURE HOW MANY DRIVING LAWS I BROKE TRYING TO GET HOME BUT I HAD TO GET THERE QUICK.MY THIGHS WERE MOIST AND SLIPPERY  ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS SMACKING SOUND WHEN I ADJUSTED MY ASS IN THE SEAT. I COULDN’T WAIT TO PULL IN PASS THE VERY SAME  SECURITY  GATES THAT I ONCE HATED. I KNEW ONCE I GOT HOME I HAD A CURE. MANNY ,  CHANITA, ANYBODY!! I FELT AS THOUGH SOMETHING WAS OFF WHEN I FIRST WALKED IN THE FOYER. I’M SURPRISED MANNY DIDN’T MEET ME AT THE DOOR. HE LIKES SMELLING MY PUSSY WHEN I COME IN FROM ANYWHERE AND THEN HE ALWAYS FUCK ME REALLY HARD FOR PUNISHMENT. THIS TIME I ACTUALLY WAS ANTICIPATING IT AND HE’S NOWHERE IN SIGHT.  DAMN I CAN’T CATCH A BREAK! SECURITY LOOKS LIKE WHAT IT’S ABOUT TO BE WHEN IT DAWNS ON ME TO CHECK MANNY’S PRIVATE BEDROOM. ANY OTHER TIME SECURITY WOULD STOP ME BECAUSE NOONE ENTERS WITHOUT PERMISSION. INSTEAD THEY ALL TURNED THE OTHER CHEEK AND LET ME PROCEED.EVERYTHING SORTA MOVED IN SLOW MOTION FROM THERE. AS I TURNED THE KNOB I HEARD SUGADICK NOT MANNY.  I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ONCE I ENTERED IN SAW THE SIGHT  OF  CHANITA BEING CHOKED WITH A BELT WHILE SUGADICK WAS POUNDING AT THE BACKDOOR!!  GASPING FOR AIR, HER EYES ARE BULGING AND IT LOOKED LIKE HE HAD JUST GOT STARTED.  WHAT THE FUCK MANNY!! I SCREAMED.  CLOSE MY FUCKING DOOR BITCH SUGADICK DEMANDED WITH COKE RAGE.  I KNEW TO LISTEN BUT MY FEET WAS FROZEN TO THE GROUND. TURNS OUT HE HAD BEEN WATCHING TAPES AGAIN. DAMN WHEN WILL I LEARN!!  CHANITA REACHED OUT TO ME AND ALL I COULD UNDERSTAND WAS I LOVE YOU! MY HEART POUNDED WITH FEAR BECAUSE I REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING. I WAS THE CAUSE OF YET ANOTHER LIFE BEING TAKEN. I BEGIN TO CRY AND I PLEADED FOR HIM TO STOP. CHANITA DIDN’T  DESERVE  THIS. HER ONLY CRIME WAS LOVING  ME AND FOR THAT SHE WAS SENTENCED TO DEATH. SUGADICK CALLED FOR THE HEAD OF SECURITY AND ORDERED HIM TO PUT ME AWAY. I STARTED TO YELL AND SCREAM FOR HELP BUT OF COURSE IT WAS ALL IN VAIN. DRAGGING ME OUT THE ROOM WITH MY FEET KICKING IN THE AIR. SECURITY  WHISPERED  TO ME THAT HE WOULD NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME.WITH THAT I SAW CHANITA’S BEAUTIFUL FACE FOR THE LAST TIME AND THE CLOSEST THING TO LOVE WAS GONE!!

  YET AGAIN I’M SENTENCED TO JAILTIME IN THIS HELLHOLE. I HONESTLY FEEL AS THOUGH HE’S GONNA HURT ME SOON. EVEN THOUGH HEAD OF SECURITY REASSURES ME HE WOULD NEVER LET HIM DO IT ,  ITS JUST NOT ENOUGH FOR ME TO FEEL SAFE FROM SUGADICK. WHY DIDN’T  I   RUN AWAY WITH HER!! I SHOULD’VE LOVED HER!! MOST OF ALL IT BOTHERS ME BECAUSE I COUD’VE   STAYED AWAY FROM HER.SHOULD’VE, WOULD’VE, COULD’VE BUT IT’S TOO LATE NOW.THIS IS SOO FUCKED UP TO HAVE TO CARRY THIS SHIT IN MY MIND! I’M HAUNTED BY HER EYES AT NIGHT, HER SWEET TOUCH AND MOST OF ALL  HER  LAST WORDS. HOW DOES THIS NIGGA DO THIS AND STILL  SLEEP AT  NIGHT. MEANWHILE I’M PLAGUED WITH  NIGHTMARES OF CHANITA AND RAMSEY!  I HAD A NEWLY FOUND HATE FOR MANNY. I DIDN’T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO MYSELF ANYMORE. ALL I WANTED WAS TO SEE HIM DIE SLOW!!  I’VE BEEN TEMPTED TO BLOW HIS HEAD OFF MORE THAN A FEW TIMES. IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE WITH HIM NOT IN IT. SAD BUT TRUE!!  I’VE BEEN A HOE FOR A LONG TIME AND I’VE  DONE THINGS THAT I’M NOT NECESSARILY PROUD OF BUT AS MUCH AS I HATED THE MEN THAT WERE PLACED IN MY LIFE I’VE NEVER TRIED OR THOUGHT TO KILL ANY OF THEM.  AS FOR MANNY I HATE THIS NIGGA WITH ALL MY SOUL AND I KNOW I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM HERE ,BUT HOW??  THE THOUGHT OF FREEDOM CONSUMES ME. IT’S LIKE I HAVE NO ROOM IN MY MIND TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE WHICH IS A STEP UP FOR A HOE LIKE ME. I’M OFTEN DAYDREAMING OF FINDING TRUE LOVE AND JUST BEING NORMAL. WHY HAS GOD PUNISHED ME?? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??  WHY AM I LIKE THIS?? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND NOT ENOUGH ANSWERS AND THEN IT COMES TO ME……….. I THINK I HAVE A SOLUTION!!! HEAD OF SECURITY ACTS AS THOUGH HE’S SUPER SAVE A HOE AND I’M ABOUT TO CALL HIM ON IT. WHAT AM I GONNA HAVE TO DO TO MAKE SURE HE’S ON MY TEAM? I’M NOT SURE BUT  NOW I’M ON SOME HIGH LEVEL HOE SHIT. GOTS TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS NIGGA IN THE GROUND. AFTERALL I AM HIS WIFE AND I DO STAND TO INHERIT IT ALL AS A WIDOW. I AIN’T WORTH SHIT AS HIS WIFE BUT A SEXSLAVE THAT HE’S DETERMINED TO RULE! I’M DONE WITH THIS SICK  TWISTED BULLSHIT THAT I CALL MY LIFE. GAME ON!!!!!