LOOSE PEN DIARIES

  I’M NOT TOO SURE OF WHAT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW !!   JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THIS SHIT WAS OVER FATE THROWS A MONKEY WRENCH IN MY PLANS!!  WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?  “TAKE HER TO HER ROOM.” MANNY ORDERED WITH AUTHORITY.  “AND LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR! “ WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO? THEN ALL TYPES OF FEELINGS FLOOD ME ONCE. STILL DAZED I’M NOT SURE IF I’M HEARING STRAIGHT. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT STARING AT THAT NIGGA LIKE THAT?”MARTIN CRIED LIKE HE WAS THROWING A TODDLER TANTRUM. “YOU KNEW THAT WAS NOT COOL TO DO, FORCING ME TO HIT YOU WITH THE GUN! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!”  AND THAT’S WHEN ALL OF EVERYTHING HIT ME AT ONCE!! YEAH I WAS MAD AS HELL CAUSE I KNOW I HAD BEEN BUTTED IN THE HEAD WITH A 45! I ALSO REMEMBER WHY I WAS BUTTED IN THE HEAD…… $GOD!! I KNOW I SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS THICK WARM TRICKLE OF BLOOD FLOWING DOWN MY FACE BUT ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS THIS MAN! I WAS BEING DAMN NEAR DRAGGED UNTIL MARTIN REACHED THE STAIRS AND SWOOPED ME OFF MY FEET LIKE IT MATTERED. “I’M SO SORRY !! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN….NEVER. “ MARTIN  WAS GIVING SOME MORE OF THOSE EMPTY LAME PROMISES. “NEVERMIND ALL OF THAT I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. IT’S YOUR JOB.”I LIED.AIN’T THIS THE SAME NIGGA THAT SAID HE WOULD NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO ME. I GUESS HE MEANT THE SHIT THAT HE DIDN’T DO HIS SELF. “BUT WHAT DID I DO… I DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING.” I SAID WITH ASPIRATIONS OF HEARING SOMETHING DIFFERENT  THAN  WHAT I ALREADY KNEW. “YOU WERE STARING AT THE HELP AND MANNY ORDERED US TO KNOCK YOU OUT  BUT  BEFORE I LET ANYBODY PUT THEIR HANDS ON YOU I DID IT MYSELF!” I KNOW THIS NIGGA AIN’T SAYING THIS SHIT LIKE HE DID ME A FAVOR.”FOR REAL SLAYJONIA, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I KNOW YOU’VE CHANGED FOR ME”. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGA ON! HE COULDN’T POSSIBLY BELIEVE THAT ALL THIS FUCKING IS LOVE!! I HAD SOME SHIT TO DEAL WITH IF HE THOUGHT FOR ONE MOMENT WE WOULD BE HAPPY TOGETHER. FOOLED BY HIS LUST IS ALL I COULD THINK OF AS ALL TYPES OF SHIT WAS COMING OUT HIS MOUTH.”MARTIN, WHO WAS I STARING AT AND WHY WAS HE HERE?” I ASKED. “HE’S MY NEW BOSS. I’M STEPPING DOWN FROM HEAD OF SECURITY AND NOW I’M WORKING ON A PLAN THAT’S GONE HAVE US SET FOR LIFE.DON’T WORRY BOUT THAT NEW NIGGA. I GOT MY CONNECTS AND HE ‘S THE NEW BOSS BUT IT’S LIKE HE’S WORKING FOR ME. IM GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THIS BULLSHIT HERE AND GIVE YOU REAL LOVE,”MARTIN REASSURED. I CAN’T BELIEVE HE THINKS FOR ONE MOMENT THAT I WOULD LOVE A COWARD ASS NIGGA. I MEAN IS HE SERIOUS WITH ALL THIS RUN AWAY AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER SHIT. I’M PAST MY LIMIT OF HATE FOR THESE NIGGAS BUT I’M GONNA HOLD ON A LITTLE WHILE LONGER SO THAT THINGS ARE TAKEN CARE OF…. THE RIGHT WAY. I KNEW NOT TO ASK ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT $GOD CAUSE THIS NIGGAS A CERTIFIED HATER. THIS NIGGA LEANED IN TO KISS MY FOREHEAD AND IT TOOK EVERYTHING NOT TO YELL RAPE AND WATCH HIM DIE. INSTEAD I HELD MY BREATH AND WITH ALL MY ENERGY SIMPLY REPLIED,”O.K.

       WHEN SOMEONE SAID THAT YOU’LL KNOW WHEN YOU MEET YOUR SOULMATE, THEY DIDN’T LIE. IT’S BEEN ALL OF FIVE LONG DAYS, ONE HUNDRED TWENTY HOURS,SEVENTY TWO HUNDRED MINUTES AND I CAN’T EVEN COUNT THE SECONDS SINCE I’VE SEEN HIS FACE. I CLOSE MY EYES THINKING ABOUT OUR LAST ENCOUNTER AND OFTEN DRIFT INTO SOME OF MY BEST EVER DAYDREAMS. HIS SMELL IS SO INTOXICATING, A MIXTURE OF CURVE AND MARIJUANA. HIS SKIN SO CLEAN AND SMOOTHE LIKE UNCUT CHOCOLATE. HIS TOUCH IS SO STRONG AND AGGRESSIVE. BOLD WITH ALL HIS MOVES. THE WAY HE GUIDES HIS TONGUE  IN SOFT  SLOW CIRCLES AROUND MY NIPPLES AND THEN TO MY STOMACH,KISSING MY RIBS TICKLING THEM WITH THEM WITH SOFT MOIST KISSES ALL THE WAY DOWN MY SIDE TO MY THIGHS. MAKING HIS WAY ACROSS MY BODY, UP AND DOWN ALL OF MY CURVES TO TEASE ME.  IT HURTS SO GOOD!!  I’M ALWAYS CUT SHORT OF GLORY WHEN SOMEONE STUPID LIKE MANNY OR MARTIN INTERRUPTS.  I’M NOT TRIPPING THOUGH BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THIS SHIT IS DEFINETLY TEMPORARY. MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE NOW THAT HE’S A PART OF IT. I TOOK THE LIBERTY TO READ MANNY’S CALENDAR AND NOTHING BUT A BULLET WILL KEEP ME AWAY FROM THIS MAN. HE WILL BE HERE ACCORDING TO MANNY’S METICULOUS RECORDS AROUND TWO O’CLOCK TODAY. IT’S ONE FIFTEEN AND I HAVE ON MY BLACK SILK SUNDRESS COMPLIMENTED BY MY BLACK LACE SILK THONGS. I HAVE APPLE BLOSSOMS THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE FOR HEADY LOVE, SENSUALITY, AND PREFERENCE. I KNOW THAT HE’S MY SOULMATE. I FELT IT AND I KNOW HE FELT IT TOO.  MY GAME IS DEFINETLY ON!!

       I WENT FOR A BRIEF WALK TO THE GREENHOUSE THAT I LOVE SO MUCH JUST TO PASS SOME TIME. MAN LOOKING AT THE STAINED GLASS REMINDS ME OF HOW MUCH THIS HOUSE MEANS TO ME. A LOT OF MY PERSONALITY WENT INTO THIS GREENHOUSE. MANNY LET ME DESIGN AND DICTATE EVERYTHING THAT WENT INTO IT. IT’S MY SANTUARY. NO ONE COMES INSIDE WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. I HAD IT DESIGNED THAT WAY. SO SOMETIMES BECAUSE I’M SUCH AN EXHIBITIONIST I JUST WALK FREELY AMONGST MY FLOWERS.  JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO ENDULGE IN PICKING A FEW AN ALL TOO FAMILIAR SMELLS COMES ACROSS MY NOSE. I KNOW THAT IT ISN’T ANY OF MY FLOWERS YET EXOTIC AND INTOXICATING. I WALKED TO THE THIRD ROW AND I COULDN’T BELIEVE MY EYES. HEART POUNDING SO HARD I FELT IT IN MY FINGERTIPS. “ HI, UMM HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? THERE’S NO ONE ALLOWED IN HERE.”I WHISPERED. FEARING FOR HIS LIFE.”IT’S COOL MA, I’M JUST CHECKING OUT THIS BEAUTFUL  AMBIANCE THAT’S FLOWING IN HERE. BESIDES I ALWAYS COME TO SHIT LIKE THIS EARLY. YOU NEVER KNOW RIGHT” HE EXPRESSED WITHOUT ANY CARE FOR CONSEQUENCES. “I’M SLAYJONIA”, I EXTENDED MY HAND FORWARD TO SHAKE HIS.TREMBLING INSIDE ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE HEATED TOUCH OF HIS HAND.THEN HE RESPONDED” I KNOW”, AND LEANED FORWARD TO KISS MY HAND. HIS LIPS WERE SO SOFT AND HOT PRESSED AGAINST MY FLESH THAT I INSTANTLY   FELT ORGASMIC. THEN HE PULLED AWAY AND LOOKED DEEP INTO MY EYES AND SAID”YOU’RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN A SEX CLUB, AND THESE NIGGAS!! I’M LYLE AND THEY CALL ME MONEY GOD. IT’S MY PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOU SLAYJONIA”. MY EARS WERE BURNING WHEN HE SAID MY NAME. THE HEAT  BETWEEN US  FOGGED UP THE STAINED GLASS WINDOWS. I WANTED NOTHING BUT MORE OF HIM. THEN I BLINKED MY EYES AND HE WAS GONE. I COULD STILL SMELL HIM OVER THE FLOWERS. I COULD STILL FEEL HIS KISS. AGAIN THIS MAN HAS LEFT ME FROZEN AND BREATHLESS…….. I’M IN LOVE!!!

    

  MY PATIENTS ARE GROWING THIN WITH THIS CHARADE WITH MARTIN. HE HAS DISAPPOINTED ME ONE TOO MANY TIMES WITH HIS HALF ASS PLOTTING AND PLANNING BULLSHIT. I’M STARTING TO REALIZE HE'S JUST LIKE ANY OTHER WHOSE COME IN CONTACT WITH MY DOUBLE EDGE SWORD PUSSY! ANY CHANCE HE GETS HE’S EATING MY PUSSY AND TELLING ME HE LOVES ME . ALWAYS TRYING TO FUCK ME OUT BEFORE MANNY COMES BACK. HE’S SO SEE THROUGH! MANNY SPENT SOME GOOD MONEY EDUCATING ME(TILL THIS DAY I DON’T KNOW WHY!)I MAY BE A HOE BUT I’M NOBODIES FOOL SO I’M AT MY LIMIT WITH THIS NIGGA. I KNOW HIS REAL NAME WHICH I NEVER GAVE A DAMN BEFORE TO LEARN. DATES OF BIG MOVES FOR MANNY WHICH ACCORDING TO HIS RECORDS SOMETHINGS GOING DOWN SOON I THINK IN THE GARDENS. I KNOW WHERE ALL THE HIDDEN CAMERAS ARE NOW.     I KNOW HOW TO GAIN ACCESS TO THE OFFICE AND ALL MANNY’S KEEP AWAY FILES, MOST OF ALL I FOUND OUT IF IT WASN’T FOR MARTINS  WANNA BE A BOSS ASS CHANITA WOULD STILL BE HERE. NIGGAS ARE SO FUCKING SIMPLE TO STRING. A FEW BLOWJOBS AN AGREEANCE TO US RUNNING AWAY TOGETHER AND HAVING A FAMILY WAS ALL IT TOOK TO GET IN. I COULD’VE DONE THAT SHIT LONG TIME AGO. NOW I KNOW THAT MARTINS ASS IS AS LOWDOWN AND INTO IT AS MANNY. EVERY DOG WILL HAVE HIS DAY!!! NOW I’M UP ON GAME IN THE HOUSE THAT I’VE BEEN LIVING IN FOR TWENTY YEARS. MANNY’S LIKE SCARFACE BUT NOT. I’VE LEARNED THAT HIS DRUG MONEY  AND CONNECTIONS IS WHAT BOUGHT HIM TO THE COUNTRY IN THE FIRST PLACE. A LOT OF ILLEGAL BULLSHIT IS WHAT PLACED HIM IN POLITICS AND NOW HE’S OUT OF CONTROL. I CAN PUT JUST ABOUT FOUR BODIES ON HIM & ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW MANY MORE THAT THERE TRULY ARE. I WAS TOO BUSY BEING BRAINWASHED ON MY BACK THAT I DIDN’T KNOW MY PUSSY FROM MY MOUTH. NOW I FEEL REBORN WITH PURPOSE AND THAT’S A FEELING I CAN GET USED TO.NOW IT’S MY TIME TO GET BACK AT EVERY NIGGA WHO TRIED TO OWN ME, WRONGED ME AND USED ME UP. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!!

       “SLAYJONIA WILL YOU JOIN ME IN THE GARDEN FOR A DRINK”, MANNY SAID WITH A MENACING SMILE.” OF COURSE” I AGREED RETURNING THE GESTURE.  I NEVER HATED SOMEONE AS MUCH AS I HATED MY MOMS UNTIL NOW! I STARTED TO DAYDREAM WALKING BEHIND MANNY OF WHAT WAS INEVITABLE TO HAPPEN. I CAN PICTURE HIS BRAINS SLIDING OFF OUR MARBLE WALLS AND STAINING THE FLOOR.THE NEW LIFE THAT I’M DUE GAVE ME COMPLETE JOY!! I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THAT MY WALK TURNED INTO A JOYOUS SKIP. SO BLINDED THAT I SKIPPED INTO A GARDEN OF BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS AND ABOUT TWELVE SECURITY GUARDS INCLUDING MARTIN. WONDER WHERE THIS IS GOING AND THEN IT HITS ME "THE GARDEN". “TAKE A SEAT MY LOVE AND HAVE A DRINK. I HAVE TO MAKE A COUPLE OF DECISIONS  WITH OUR STAFF,AND I WOULD LIKE YOUR HELP”, MANNY SAID SOUNDING LIKE SOMEONE ELSES HUSBAND. “WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT MANNY”, I REPLIED GIVING HIM A LOOK OF DISINTEREST. MANNY STARTED WITH HIS SCARFCE TONE TALKING ABOUT LOYALTY AND ALL TYPES OF OTHER BULLSHIT THAT I TONED OUT UNTIL HE ASKED ME TO MAKE A DECISION. “ SO WHO WILL WE KEEP AROUND SLAYJONIA?” MANNY ASKED. I CAN’T  BELIEVE HE THINKS I’M GOING FOR THIS MIND FUCK HE’S TRYING HARD TO SERVE. MARTIN IS TRYING TO GIVE ME AN EYE BUT HE KNOWS NOT TO LOOK DIRECTLY AT ME BECAUSE THAT IS A VIOLATION TO ONE OF THE HIGH LEVEL RULES.INSTEAD HE HAS THIS DUMB LOOK OF ASSURANCE WRITTEN ALL OVER HIS FACE ACCOMPANIED BY AWKWARD BODY LANGUAGE. TRYING TO STAND THERE LIKE HE WAS A MAN BUT COMING ACROSS AS THE PUNK  HE WAS. TRUE MARTIN COULD SLANG SOME GOOD DICK AND TALK A GOOD GAME BUT THAT WAS IT!! “SO SLAYJONIA, WHAT WILL IT BE? I WOULD AT LEAST LIKE TO ENJOY AN EVENING WITH MY WIFE.” MANNY SAID LIKE HE WAS WAITING FOR APPROVAL. THIS NIGGA IS HATEFUL AS FUCK. IF I PICK A FEW TO KEEP AND A FEW TO GO HE’S GONNA FIND A REASON TO KILL  SOMEBODY.THAT’S HIS GAME!! “BABY CAN WE LET THEM ALL GO SO THAT WE CAN HAVE OUR HOUSE  BACK?” LAUGHING MY FINE ASS OFF AT THIS NIGGA. DID HE REALLY THINK I WAS GONNA FALL FOR HIS BULLSHIT !! “ YOU’RE RIGHT MY DEAR IT IS TIME TO LET THEM ALL GO AND I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY TO REPLACE THEM WITH ANOTHER , BABY A BETTER CREW.”MANNY WORDS CUT THROUGH THE AIR LIKE AN EXECUTIONER . ABOUT TWENTY NIGGAS RAN IN GRABBING THESE NIGGAS AND DRAGGING THEM OUT BY FORCE. MARTIN WAS THE ONLY EXCEPTION HE MADE HIS WAY TO THE HOUSE AND RETURNED WITH THIS FINE ASS, BLACK ASS, BOWLEGGED  NIGGA. DAMN!!!!! HE WAS SO FINE!!DARK CHOCOLATE SMOOTHE SKIN, BRIGHT WHITE TEETH, THICK FULL LIPS, AND A BROAD STRONG CHEST BULGING THROUGH HIS BRIGHT  WHITE TEE…….. HOW WILL I EVER FORGET A MAN LIKE THIS. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN MY HOUSE BUT FOR THE NEXT SIXTY SECONDS I COULD DO NOTHING. FROZEN, BREATHLESS, AND TAKEN BY HIS PRESENCE………$GOD!!

    CAN’T BELIEVE I’M WALKING BACK TO MY CAR UNSATISFIED, UNTOUCHED, AND HORNIER THAN A DRY HUMPING PRE TEEN!!!  I THREW AWAY FIVE GRAND FUCKING WITH THIS CLUB FOR ALL OF WHAT… TWENTY MINUTES. THIS NIGGA DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE DONE CROSSED!! YEAH HE CAN SLING SOME ROCKS OR WHATEVER HE WAS SLANGING BUT HE COULDN’T THROW SOME DICK MY WAY!! MY RIDE HOME WAS LIKE WALKING THE LONG GREEN MILE. I COULD BARELY CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING! I’M NOT SURE HOW MANY DRIVING LAWS I BROKE TRYING TO GET HOME BUT I HAD TO GET THERE QUICK.MY THIGHS WERE MOIST AND SLIPPERY  ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS SMACKING SOUND WHEN I ADJUSTED MY ASS IN THE SEAT. I COULDN’T WAIT TO PULL IN PASS THE VERY SAME  SECURITY  GATES THAT I ONCE HATED. I KNEW ONCE I GOT HOME I HAD A CURE. MANNY ,  CHANITA, ANYBODY!! I FELT AS THOUGH SOMETHING WAS OFF WHEN I FIRST WALKED IN THE FOYER. I’M SURPRISED MANNY DIDN’T MEET ME AT THE DOOR. HE LIKES SMELLING MY PUSSY WHEN I COME IN FROM ANYWHERE AND THEN HE ALWAYS FUCK ME REALLY HARD FOR PUNISHMENT. THIS TIME I ACTUALLY WAS ANTICIPATING IT AND HE’S NOWHERE IN SIGHT.  DAMN I CAN’T CATCH A BREAK! SECURITY LOOKS LIKE WHAT IT’S ABOUT TO BE WHEN IT DAWNS ON ME TO CHECK MANNY’S PRIVATE BEDROOM. ANY OTHER TIME SECURITY WOULD STOP ME BECAUSE NOONE ENTERS WITHOUT PERMISSION. INSTEAD THEY ALL TURNED THE OTHER CHEEK AND LET ME PROCEED.EVERYTHING SORTA MOVED IN SLOW MOTION FROM THERE. AS I TURNED THE KNOB I HEARD SUGADICK NOT MANNY.  I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ONCE I ENTERED IN SAW THE SIGHT  OF  CHANITA BEING CHOKED WITH A BELT WHILE SUGADICK WAS POUNDING AT THE BACKDOOR!!  GASPING FOR AIR, HER EYES ARE BULGING AND IT LOOKED LIKE HE HAD JUST GOT STARTED.  WHAT THE FUCK MANNY!! I SCREAMED.  CLOSE MY FUCKING DOOR BITCH SUGADICK DEMANDED WITH COKE RAGE.  I KNEW TO LISTEN BUT MY FEET WAS FROZEN TO THE GROUND. TURNS OUT HE HAD BEEN WATCHING TAPES AGAIN. DAMN WHEN WILL I LEARN!!  CHANITA REACHED OUT TO ME AND ALL I COULD UNDERSTAND WAS I LOVE YOU! MY HEART POUNDED WITH FEAR BECAUSE I REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING. I WAS THE CAUSE OF YET ANOTHER LIFE BEING TAKEN. I BEGIN TO CRY AND I PLEADED FOR HIM TO STOP. CHANITA DIDN’T  DESERVE  THIS. HER ONLY CRIME WAS LOVING  ME AND FOR THAT SHE WAS SENTENCED TO DEATH. SUGADICK CALLED FOR THE HEAD OF SECURITY AND ORDERED HIM TO PUT ME AWAY. I STARTED TO YELL AND SCREAM FOR HELP BUT OF COURSE IT WAS ALL IN VAIN. DRAGGING ME OUT THE ROOM WITH MY FEET KICKING IN THE AIR. SECURITY  WHISPERED  TO ME THAT HE WOULD NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME.WITH THAT I SAW CHANITA’S BEAUTIFUL FACE FOR THE LAST TIME AND THE CLOSEST THING TO LOVE WAS GONE!!

  YET AGAIN I’M SENTENCED TO JAILTIME IN THIS HELLHOLE. I HONESTLY FEEL AS THOUGH HE’S GONNA HURT ME SOON. EVEN THOUGH HEAD OF SECURITY REASSURES ME HE WOULD NEVER LET HIM DO IT ,  ITS JUST NOT ENOUGH FOR ME TO FEEL SAFE FROM SUGADICK. WHY DIDN’T  I   RUN AWAY WITH HER!! I SHOULD’VE LOVED HER!! MOST OF ALL IT BOTHERS ME BECAUSE I COUD’VE   STAYED AWAY FROM HER.SHOULD’VE, WOULD’VE, COULD’VE BUT IT’S TOO LATE NOW.THIS IS SOO FUCKED UP TO HAVE TO CARRY THIS SHIT IN MY MIND! I’M HAUNTED BY HER EYES AT NIGHT, HER SWEET TOUCH AND MOST OF ALL  HER  LAST WORDS. HOW DOES THIS NIGGA DO THIS AND STILL  SLEEP AT  NIGHT. MEANWHILE I’M PLAGUED WITH  NIGHTMARES OF CHANITA AND RAMSEY!  I HAD A NEWLY FOUND HATE FOR MANNY. I DIDN’T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO MYSELF ANYMORE. ALL I WANTED WAS TO SEE HIM DIE SLOW!!  I’VE BEEN TEMPTED TO BLOW HIS HEAD OFF MORE THAN A FEW TIMES. IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE WITH HIM NOT IN IT. SAD BUT TRUE!!  I’VE BEEN A HOE FOR A LONG TIME AND I’VE  DONE THINGS THAT I’M NOT NECESSARILY PROUD OF BUT AS MUCH AS I HATED THE MEN THAT WERE PLACED IN MY LIFE I’VE NEVER TRIED OR THOUGHT TO KILL ANY OF THEM.  AS FOR MANNY I HATE THIS NIGGA WITH ALL MY SOUL AND I KNOW I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM HERE ,BUT HOW??  THE THOUGHT OF FREEDOM CONSUMES ME. IT’S LIKE I HAVE NO ROOM IN MY MIND TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE WHICH IS A STEP UP FOR A HOE LIKE ME. I’M OFTEN DAYDREAMING OF FINDING TRUE LOVE AND JUST BEING NORMAL. WHY HAS GOD PUNISHED ME?? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??  WHY AM I LIKE THIS?? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND NOT ENOUGH ANSWERS AND THEN IT COMES TO ME……….. I THINK I HAVE A SOLUTION!!! HEAD OF SECURITY ACTS AS THOUGH HE’S SUPER SAVE A HOE AND I’M ABOUT TO CALL HIM ON IT. WHAT AM I GONNA HAVE TO DO TO MAKE SURE HE’S ON MY TEAM? I’M NOT SURE BUT  NOW I’M ON SOME HIGH LEVEL HOE SHIT. GOTS TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS NIGGA IN THE GROUND. AFTERALL I AM HIS WIFE AND I DO STAND TO INHERIT IT ALL AS A WIDOW. I AIN’T WORTH SHIT AS HIS WIFE BUT A SEXSLAVE THAT HE’S DETERMINED TO RULE! I’M DONE WITH THIS SICK  TWISTED BULLSHIT THAT I CALL MY LIFE. GAME ON!!!!!

I DIDN’T VALET BECAUSE I HAD TO MAKE SURE I WASN’T FOLLOWED AND SHIT. MANNY’S LIKE A SHADOW... SOMETIMES IT GOES AWAY IN THE DARK BUT YOU KNOW IT’S THERE. I DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK IF HE WAS. MY EAGER, CAGED UP MONKEY NEEDED TO BREATHE.I LIKED THIS CLUB BECAUSE YOU KNEW  EXACTLY WHAT YOU CAME THERE FOR. MANNY LIKED THIS SPOT.  MAN, THAT NIGGA IS FUNNY! HE DOESN’T WANT ME TO CHEAT ON HIS WHACK ASS BUT HE’LL TAKE ME TO A UNDERGROUND SEX CLUB. HE’S WATCHED A COUPLE OF HIS HIGH CLASS HOMIES HIT HIS PUSSY LIKE THEY HAD BEEN DREAMING OF THAT SHIT. ANYWAYS I HOPE NO SUITS ARE IN HERE TONIGHT. I DON’T HAVE ANY PARTICULAR INTENTIONS. I JUST  KNOW I WANNA HAVE FUN! WALKING IN THE SMOKE FILLED CLUB BUT THE SMELL OF SMOKE COULDN’T BEAT THE SMELL OF SEX WHEN I ENTERED. I NOTICED A SLIM CHICK HURRYING TOWARD ME.. YOU NEED A NUMBER SEXY? I’M OPEN IF YOU GOT A BOTTLE. MY NAMES  ICECREAM .   THESE LADIES ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE THEIR TIPS SO THERE ALWAYS IN YOUR FACE. I’M USUALLY ANNOYED BUT SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE HAS NICE LIPS. I WONDER IF I WASN’T FREAKING OUT WITH CHANITA WOULD I LOOK AT THIS BITCH THE WAY THAT I AM. WHEN HER LIPS MOVED MY I FELT MY CLIT THROB AND MY NIPPLES BEGAN TO POKE THROUGH MY SUNDRESS. LUCKY FOR ME I AM WHERE I AM AND EVERYONE’S NIPPLES ARE POKING OUT.    YES ICECREAM, I SAID LICKING MY LIPS. WHAT FLAVOR ARE YOU?   WHAT EVER KIND YOU WANT ME TO BE SEXY … YOU WANT TO GET A BOOTH, TABLE, SHOWER, MASSAGE, OR PRIVATE ROOM?         SHE SURPRISED ME WITH HER DOMINANCE! STRAIGHT FORWARD AND TO THE POINT. NOT THAT I HAD SOMETHING TO PROVE BUT I HAD A THING FOR BEING IN CHARGE. I GAVE ICECREAM A ONCE OVER AND ORDERED THE HOUSE SPECIAL. HER EYES WIDEN AS IF SHE’D WON THE LOTTO. WONDER IF SHE’S GONNA STILL FEEL THAT WAY AFTER I HAVE HER EAT ME OUT FOR A COUPLE HOURS. I’M GOING TO RIDE HER MOUTH INTO SEXUAL BLISS!! SHE SCURRIED OFF TO GET MY SHIT RIGHT. THE HOUSE SPECIAL COMES WITH IT ALL: PRIVATE ROOM (EQUIPPED W/JACUZZI), FLAT SCREEN W/NON-STOP PORN, ALL TYPES OF FREAK EM’ TOYS AND MY CHOICE FUCK!! ALL WHILE I’M SIPPING ON SOME 1500 DOLLAR JOHNNIE WALKER SCOTCH BLUE LABEL.  I SAW ICECREAM HEADING MY WAY WITH SECURITY ESCORTS. NO I WASN’T NERVOUS. THIS WAS THERE ROUTINE. AS I WAS BEING ESCORTEDTO MY ROOM I CAUGHT THE EYE OF THIS FINE ASS, BLACK ASS, BOWLEGGED  NIGGA. DAMN!!!!! HE WAS SO FINE!!DARK CHOCOLATE SMOOTHE SKIN, BRIGHT WHITE TEETH, THICK FULL LIPS, AND A BROAD STRONG CHEST BULGING THROUGH HIS BRIGHT  WHITE TEE. HE LOOKED OUT OF PLACE ,LIKE HE DIDN’T BELONG. I STOPPED IN MY TRACKS CAUSE I CAN’T WALK AWAY. SOMETHINGS TELLING ME DANGER!!DANGER!! BUT I CAN’T IGNORE IT. I MEAN WHO WAS I FOOLING ANYWAY. I DON’T REALLY WANT A FEMALE LIKE THAT TO PAY TO GET MY PUSSY ATE OUT. I ALREADY HAD THAT AT HOME WITH CHANITA AND I WAS RUNNING FROM THAT. I TURNED AROUND AND STARTED MAKING MY WAY TO THIS BLACK ADONIS I JUST HAD TO HAVE. ICECREAM DAMN NEAR FOOTBALL TACKLED ME SO I DIDN’T GET AWAY. BITCH, YOU DON’T KNOW ME LIKE THAT!! I SAID LOUD ENOUGH FOR THE FREAKS AROUND ME TO HEAR.      I’M SO SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THAT .I’M SORRY SEXY SHE SAID IN A PATHETIC PLEADING TONE. HOW CAN I TURN AWAY THIS SAD, LOST PUPPY?   I HAD TO LET THIS BITCH KNOW NOT TO STEP OUT OF LINE AGAIN AND GET STRAIGHT PIMP WITH HER. I ASKED SECURITY TO FETCH ME THAT NIGGA SINCE WE CAUSED A SCENE WHEN I TRIED. I WANTED A THREESOME .I SAW IT HAPPENING AND I STARTED TO FLUTTER INSIDE AT THE THOUGHT OF A WOMANS SOFT KISSES AND A MANS HARD THRUST!!  I CAN’T WAIT! NOW WHO LOOKS LIKE THEY WON THE LOTTO. POUR THAT SHIT I ORDERED TO ICECREAM. AS SHE POURED THE LIQUOR I STARTED TO DANCE TO THE SOUND OF THE MUSIC FROM THE CLUB.ANTICIPATING THE ARRIVAL OF MY NIGGA I SLAMMED TWO SHOTS BACK QUICK. I JUST COULDN’T TAKE NO MORE WHEN THE DOOR OPENED WITH JUST THE SECURITY. WHERE IS HE?? I QUESTIONED THE GUARD IN SEXUAL FUSTRATION.   I’M SORRY BABY BUT HE SAID HE HAD TO DECLINE THE OFFER.  WHAT?? I WAS YELLING NOW!! YEAH BABY HE’S HERE TO DELIVER PARTY FAVORS. WHICH IF YOU NEED SOMETHING TO LIFT UP YOUR PARTY HE GOT IT.  WHAT?? I WAS STILL YELLING AND GETTING READY TO STORM OUT OF THE PRIVATE ROOM. I KNOW A NIGGA AIN’T GONE TURN DOWN A THREESOME IN A SEX CLUB WITH TWO FINE ASS BITCHES. FUCK THAT I WANTED TO FUCK HIM HE CAN’T JUST SAY NO!!! I WAS LIVID BACAUSE I FELT TRIED AND INSULTED. JUST WHO DID HE THINK HE WAS!!!  JUST AS SOON AS I WAS ABOUT TO ASK HIM THAT HE BEGAN TO WALK OFF AND GET LOST IN THE CROWD. I CHASED HIM ALL THE WAY TO THE DOOR WHERE HIS CAR WAS ALREADY WAITING WITH A VALET ATTENDANT.FUCK! FUCK!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE I DIDN’T VALET! I STARED AT HIS CAR UNTIL  IT WAS OUT OF MY SIGHT AND KEPT A CLEAR PIC OF HIS TAG IN MY MIND  :   $GOD   .    YES HE WILL SEE ME AGAIN BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.